Fragments

30th April 2007 (Monday)

10:49am
I look no different from any other day, like the same old me, like the same old cheerful Tricia... but I'm broken into a millions pieces inside... so broken that I dun think anything can fix me up...

Haha... suddenly I thought of Humptey Dumptey

11:37am
I wanna ask him to come back to me, want everything to remain the same. I want him to hear him say he still wants me back... But I'm didn't ask, I wanted it to his decision. But I know it's not... tat's why I'm so broken now...

I remembered hearing my heart shattered, my ears buzzing, my mind becoming a total blank, my whole body going numb... with despair... when I heard him confirm it.

I wanted to scream and kick... to hurt and to blame him... but I know it won't help.

1:50pm
I din wanna think of him, but naturally I did, at lunch time, like every other normal day... I think of whether he'll take his lunch late again. And I want to remind him I'm ard somewhere, thinking of him...

And so I msg him, guilty of my own agenda. I want him to think of me if he's not... I forced him to... OMG! Eddie, I miss you so much... :'(

4:34pm
I cannot concentrate on my work. I checked my hp for msgs at every little sound... I thot I heard it beeped, I really did, but it din... He din msg me afterall...

6:29pm
It's all juz so hard... I mean, I love you, and you said you love me... then why din it equate to HAPPILY EVER AFTER?!?!