Why do I feel like this?

it's times like this tat i feel lonely.. in my room, sitting in front of my computer, nothing much to do at home.. or rather, dun feel like doing anything at all. TV's on, programs are running on TV, but i'm not paying attention to it, coz i juz dun feel like doing anything. Not even chatting with frens. i tried reading my romance novel, but find it hard to concentrate.

my family's in the living room. i could join them. but i juz dun feel like it. maybe tat's why i go out with my frens everyday. from the time i wake up, till i come home exhausted and juz go to bed straight. Somehow I juz need the companionship of frens everyday. I need people ard me all the time. tat's why i go to school, hang out with frens, work and party till late. i juz cannot be left alone. loneliness always finds it way to crept on to me if i'm alone. And i can't stand loneliness....

i know my family and my frens care abt me, but sometimes, even though i know tat, i still feel alone. i dun understand why as well. i made the choice to stay home tonite coz i'm feeling physically tired and the last few days, i've been downing too much beer. it's not good for health, considering my state now. But i can't stop it. most times, i juz wanna be out there on the streets, and i dun really care with who and doing what. in SG, at nite, there's almost nothing to do except drinking. Since i want to be out, so i get my frens to go drinking with me.

tonite, i could be out. coz a fren did asked me out for dinner. But i din wanna go, coz i'm tired. Yet now, i feel so darn bored at home. sigh~