Sunday, May 01, 2005

i'm tired...

why can't anyone understand? why issit tat a person perceived to be strong cannot be allowed to have problems? why can't pple ard me understand tat i dun want all this to happen as well?

why issit tat my own mum dun understand? why issit tat she can't give me tat few days to be upset and be left alone? why muz she keep pressurizing me?

why muz i stop my tears becoz others dun wanna see me cry? why do i always stop myself? why muz i smile when i feel like cryin?

why can't i pick myself up and dun disappoint pple ard me? why issit tat i feel like i owe everyone ard me, not to be upset? why muz i be alone to solve all my problems?

why issit tat whenever i'm upset there's nobody there i can really really talk to... why issit tat recently, i juz feel like giving up on everything??

i always think it's dumb... to give up on oneself, but NOW...

i'm tired, i'm really really tired...

14 comments:

d3r3k g0h said...

hi dear, you have always been close to my heart, juz let me know if you need someone to talk to and be there for you. i bet there is alot pp who is willing to do that as well but juz want you to know i am always around if u need someone.

Anonymous said...

will u concentrate on ur exams like wat u keep sayin, pls!! stop sittin in front of ur comp n stare! (or blog! it's useless~)

u've always noe in ur heart who might b the 1s leavin discouragin comments, BUT u chose to ignore it den. since nw tt u've cfm on ur instinct, ain't it time to move on my dear girl? (n yes, i wrote here coz i noe tt someone will read it)

it's such a BIG clear pic nw! u r startin to freak me out my dear. u were nv like tt.

frm the way u talk abt him, the way u stop hangin out late, dun club much, dun even work promo much n stuff, the subtle changes he brought abt in u. we all noe u like WT alot! even thou we dun understand y... but dun fret, there's lots of OTHER trees in the forest eh!

we're always here for u alright. if u only ask...

n pls DUN quarrel w ur mum anymore. u noe her n u noe urself. no pt quarrellin.

juz "pack up" ur emotions, study hard, go thru ur exams & get ur ass outta the country. when u come back, u'll noe the final outcome alright...

yes, it's difficult, BUT nobody says it's gonna b ez. i hate to say tis, but u knw u can handle it... juz be strong!

Anonymous said...

Hey girl... emm .. just thought I should leave ya a message since I stumbled upon your blog..

Man.. I am sorry to see you are not in such a good emotional state now... Cry your heart out... no one can stop you from doing that.. whatever it is.. keep the good memories.. discard the old.. life is good.. =] yeah it is..

cheer up..

Anonymous said...

well...dun waste time keep thinking on all your problems!!!! you have to think of the solutions!! why u keep telling everyone u having problems here and there asking for help which doesn't really come in useful or i believe u wun even listen to watever good advice that comes to u! u r always putting on a strong face to let ppl see u always laugh ur prob away infront of other ppl! but deep inside u cant take it u dun believe in other ppl helping u. u just expect miracle to happen and things will turn out nice for u! if u r willing to work out ur prob think it closely and ask urself>>> is it worth it if i make such a decision? <<< the worst decision for u to make is not to make any! but Please think carefully b4 u choose! from wat i see... u r wasting time in sch or even not in sch..either working or hanging out with the wrong ppl at the wrong places...WHY? so that u can escape from....LOVE,FAMILY and maybe school! its been a long long time since i gave u advices but i just cant stand it anymore...u need to dig ur way out of this grave that u plunged in! some ppl are right...only u can help urself so stop finding ur help from ppl and think for urself! if u can rem..think of all the advices i gave u b4 if u forgotten,,,too bad. ur frens ard u are trying to help but they can only do so much! u told me u are mature now..then prove it to me! ur love life is in a mess(u noe it i wun comment on tt cos i duno him), ur family has always gave u prob since the day i know them so no pt bragging abt it. or maybe now wei li grown up le can confide him abit but still the generation gap to big. ur studies is ur best bet! but if u carry on like this..well forget it! u work hard enuff to get to where u r today so dun just throw it away! as for ur frens...u gt too much frens...some are helping some r not.maybe ur true frens are those i know back then..but u rarely confide in them now i guess. i wish i can help...but...i can't, i am in no ground to help u, MAYBE bcos i was the start of ur prob! if u need a brain, ear or mouth from me let me know. u dun need my shoulders i know, cos u already have a gd one there which fit so well to u rite?

zhu tou~~

Anonymous said...

guess the time has come...
wish i wasnt rite abt him all the time... but to him its all abt fun fun fun n not being tied down...
ur frens care abt u...

tricia said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

zhutou is so right... agree with that everything..

tricia said...

me too~ so.... let things be for NOW...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

wow....i realli totally amaze/surprise by the words of truth and wisdom by annoymous....

agree whole-heartly with both hands up of his/her comments/view and analysis of this whole case...

Tric, u muz remember "pang guan zhe qing, dan ju zhe mi"...
Mayb u are involve party that is blind to things that are so obvious to us...

I believe Aannoymous was trying to knock sense in to u..seeing u bcome so despair and unlike yr normal self..

on 1 side, u noe u need help/support from frenz...on the other side ,u dun realli care wat others say...
u juz wanna listen but dun wanna face the actual problem.....

U muz braceup or else i worried that u will slip into depression soon...which i hope u wun...

dun ever feel yr problem is biggest issue in the world...there are other ppl who are reali in much worse situation than u...worry of $$, food, shelter ..unlike yr small problem of heart matters...

Hence i reali sincerely hope u will do well by chosing yr best path for yr life and yr life not "wallowing" out or living in misery lor...
:)

tricia said...

watever! leave me alone! i'm not asking for advice here.... i'm juz BRAGGING abt my problems... happy? duhz~

Anonymous said...

hahaha...y shld i b hapi when i did nt manage 2 c yr ending of yr interesting story?

in anyway, u dun haf 2 get angry/or feel anytin of unknown person comment unless that i haf hit sometin on the nail that is bothering u.....

watever....u sound so like a child throwing tandrum lor...hehehe...but funni of yr reaction...
relaz...learn 2 treat things ez, lady...:)

tricia said...

reasons why i think zhu tou is Choo Yong Meng:
[1] he request to patch back last tues and i rejected him coz i think it's ridiculous tat someone will wanna patch back after 2.5yrs plus he's with this other girl all this while...
[2] i JUST told him then i'm more mature nw and can handle my own problems
[3] he's someone who always think problems, means need to find solutions. But this does not always work for me... sometimes, i juz wanna talk abt it, broaden my perspectives on the situation and make my own choice.
[4] he knws abt all my family problems
[5] he knws my frens frm poly - and i still talk to them, juz tat they're too busy these days to meet up coz of work
[6] i always feel he is the start of my problems, so when he say tat, the 1st one to come to mind is him!

there, i said it all... i am angy with him now... maybe zhu tou is someone else, but gut feeling, it's YM...

of coz there's other zhu tous in my life~ it's juz my way of speaking. a lingo i always use...

i still feel zhu tou is YM!

tricia said...

oh ya~ to reply to the latest annoymous comment... i'm talking abt the comment left by zhu tou~ the rest of you, i do not care! :)coz i got the feeling tat the bloody zhu tou knows me personally!!

the rest~ juz strangers with nothing to do, so read my blog as entertainment coz all kaypos ma~ haha...