This feeling I get - is it depression?

Suddenly I feel sick of life. I feel very lonely. I feel tired. I feel stressed out. I feel like quitting my job. I feel lost. I feel very very down... I juz wanna cry~ Sigh~

This feeling is getting to me increasing bad recently... for the past 1½ month, I've cried myself silly becoz I juz feel so darn upset. Somehow I keep feeling tat this job is not suitable for me, makes me wonder why on earth I'm in it... =(

Crossroads...

I'm pretty excited about my life now. A bit of anticipation. A bit of anxiety. Things are gonna be very different since I'm graduating and starting my work life soon. I went for a job interview this afternoon and I believe it's quite positive. Although I feel kinda tired, and really hope to have a good rest before starting work, but I think it might not be possible if I get successfully recruited. Sigh~ Well, I am excited about my future, but yet at the same time I feel very lost. After the interview, I kept asking myself whether I am really suitable for this position. Until now, I dun really have an answer for myself.

Crossroads in life I guess...

My Inner Child..

Your Inner Child Is Angry

You're not an angry person. But when you don't get your way, watch out. Like a very manipulative kid, you will get what you want. Even if it takes a little kicking and screaming.

How Is Your Inner Child?

I'm a Natural Seducer~

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Perhaps tat's how I capture EL's heart! LoL~

Explosive Mood

I'm in this really lousy mood tat's caused by the nearing of my exam dates! sickening~! I think every semester before my exams I feel this way... I'm so glad it's the last semester already~ ;P

I feel very pressurized. Yet reluctant to do anything abt it. (Read: I'm still haven't start studying AT ALL) Let the time slip away slowly (or is it rapidly?!?!). 28th Oct is my first paper... Only like 3 more days left~ I think I'm simply hopeless!!! ='(

STRESS LEVEL is going higher and higher~ Why am I so darn LAZY?!?!?!

starLett may explode without warning

M EXPLOSIVE

From Go-Quiz.com

Arrggghhh!!!!!!

Eyebrow embroidery (aka 绣眉)

I went for my monthly facial today and did eyebrow embroidery (aka 绣眉) as well~ I'm someone who is super afraid of needles/injections and the whole process is such a torture coz I'm afraid of the pain. Actually, it doesn't hurt at all coz of the huge amount of anaesthetic she put on for me but becoz I got this fear for needles, so I felt really uncomfortable... I mean, being conscious, I can hear the needle pricking my skin when she continuously stick it into my eyebrows area~ She ask me whether I wanna hold a mirror while she do it. Luckily, I said NO, so I can't see the process. Else I think I'll be crying...

The anaesthetic is wearing off slowly now and it's starting to hurt a little~ ='( The eyebrows are still bleeding slightly... sigh~

I think I look like Crayon Shin-chan (La Bi Xiao Xin) now!! LoL~! coz the colour is currently very dark, making me look really fierce... I was told by the beautician tat after a week, it'll look very natural after the initial peeling. I certainly hope so, coz I dun wanna look like Xiao Xing for long~ ;P

I decided to go do this eyebrow embroidery thing coz I have a visible scar on my right eyebrow... I got the scar when I was in K2. I was riding my bicycle when my fren came towards me in the opp direction really fast. In order to avoid hitting him, I swerved and fall towards the letterboxes, cutting myself above my right eye in tat accident.

That scar on my brow makes drawing the eyebrow a huge challenge every time I put on makeup. So after I got my pay, under the influence of my beautician's constant persuasion, I decided to "fill up the hole" in my brow. Cost me $199!! I hope it'll really look natural~ From the look of my mum's eyebrows and all her friends who did it, they all look alright~ But none of my own friends did it before, so I'm still quite worried now... =X

It's supposed to last for like 3-5 yrs... Fading slowly till it's gone. Not something permanent like tattoo, but still lasting in a way.

Guess this whole week, I'll fret over the look of my eyebrows every morning...

Wat's wrong with me?

Somehow my mood gets much much better (and I really mean by heaps and bounds) when Baby promised me to go to bed and rest early tonite... I feel REALLY good for being able to coax him to bed?!?! well, I dunno... Juz tat he's sick and I want him to SLEEP~

aiya, nothing happen at all... I dun even know what I'm upset about. Even though I feel upset and depressed the WHOLE DAY~ I really dunno what I'm thinking...

Even my youngest brother tell me, it's most prob PMS!! What is wrong with me?!?! hmmmm......

How much do you know abt me?

I made a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriends.com

CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=051011032901-365987

Just to find out how much you know about me...
IT'S A VERY SIMPLE QUIZ! ;P

Evil Wish

I can't imagine! I woke up this morning with the evil wish tat THE BITCH will drop dead instantly!

I know it's evil, but the thought's been in my mind since the 1st day she scolded me... And recently the urge to wish her dead juz came more frequently.

So let me juz wish tat some major fatal accident today will involve that BITCH... If not death, maybe leave her cripple or watever... Cancer, AIDS, SARS and other terminal disease also can~ hmpfffff!
I HATE HER!

And those who lie to me as well, shall all become MUTE for 8 hours! coz I hate liars juz as much... esp those who lie to me! And yes, omitting the truth is same as lying...

I represent [Greek God - Morpheus]

did an online quiz today coz my net fren - Jimmy, send me the link via MSN... go ahead and take the test~ find out which is you... ;)



Morpheus

Which Of The Greek Gods Are You
brought to you by Quizilla

Too early to start my day?

I seriously wonder what should I do at a time like this? It's like 7.30am in the morning NOW and I woke up like 7am this morning! woke up with no aim... But I juz can't sleep in anymore. I rather wake up then force myself to sleep. And I got nothing on till 2pm~ gosh! what shld I do now? hmmmm....

I guessed I'll wake EL up for work and ask him out for breakfast together ba~ sigh! *boReD*

Sorry...

I drenched my pillow with tears last night. Something was on my mind and I dunno how to handle it, so I juz let my tears flow. Juz to clear off the moodiness. Cried myself to sleep. All the while thinking wat a disappointment I am. I'm really sorry... ='(

I really hope you can understand... Sorry...

Batam Trip~!

Over the weekend, I went to Batam for a short getaway with EL and his poly frens... On Sat morning, EL woke me up at 7am and 1st reaction for me is to whine~ throw pillow over his face to shut him up!! coz i'm freaking tired... LoL!! We slept at 4am+ the nite before coz we went to meet his frens for supper~ I made him go prepare 1st while I snuggle a little while more in bed...

We reached HarbourFront at 0825hr... was not considered late coz the meeting time is 0820hr. 5min difference only la~ :P Met up with his frens, 6 of them. Had a hasty breakfast at McDonald's with Elson and his gf, Huizhu while the other 4 went to get the tickets. Then we took the 0920hr ferry to Batam...

Taken on the ferry to Batam

I've never been to Batam before~ my 1st impression of tat place is not fantastic, but overall still ok... Reminds me a lot of Malaysia, esp. my hometown - Port Dickson area...

We stayed at Harris Resort. The lobby is quite cosy. But the check-in procedures took some time. I dunno why coz me and EL was busy taking pics... LoL!!

Outside Harris Resort

After checking-in, we proceed to our rooms to SLACK~ We checked out the scenery outside our balcony...

And baby checked out his own reflection as well~ =P

Since we have nothing to do while waiting, we stayed in the room and took some lovey-dovey photos~ hahahaha...

Eddie the Man


Tricia the Little Girl


Lovey Dovey~


More Lovey Dovey~


LAST...

And wait for lunch time... Lunch is free, included in our package~ :) After lunch, we went for a walk around the place. There's a mini mart at the lobby~ Baby said I can't wear bikini!! so I told him to buy me this awful looking swimsuit~

Nice?!?! of coz we din get that... I still prefer my bikinis~ =P

Next to the resort is Monkey Beach Hut!

It's the place where we can play the sea sports stuff like jet-ski, kayak, parasalling etc... We actually wanna kayak, but then they dun have enough for 8 of us~ So we juz walked ard that place to look at scenery.

He took a candid shot of me~ =)

And guess wat~ There's real monkeys there...

there's one baby one with very big eyes


and another very CHEEKY monkey!!


Can see wat I mean by cheeky not?!?!

I BET YOU CAN'T DO THAT~!!! really shows the primitive side of MAN! LoL!!!!

Then there's a parrot too!

we went for a swim since we can't kayak~ Spent the whole afternoon under the sun... The feeling is juz great~! After tat, we went to have dinner at a restaurant near the ferry terminal~ It's quite cheap for tat amount of food... $12/pax. We had fish, prawns, crabs, kailan, sambal kangkong, omelette, claypot toufu, and mee goreng...

took this while waiting for food~ the sunset is beautiful!

Silly EL put a whole piece of chilli padi into his mouth and chew before I can tell him wat's tat! LoL~ tat caused him to lose his appetite totally, coz he can't take spicy stuff at all~ poor dear~ *gigglez*

We went back to the resort to check out the spa and massage after dinner. We wanted to play billard, but another group of people was there, so we retreat back to our room (they volunteered our room -_-") to play cards instead...

Sunday was spent lazing ard after breakfast~ We din get to swim coz it was raining... But it's ok. Since I get to spent time with baby. We had a late lunch then it's time to get back to Singapore~ sigh~ Another weekend gone and baby gotta work on Monday~

I failed my IME Test...

Super boring day today man! I woke up earlier than usual @ 10am... to mug for my International Monetary Economics MCQ test~ was juz messing ard for abt 2hrs basically juz slacking when baby called me to ask whether I want lunch... Great! a very good way to get away from my books (which I haven't open since I woke up) Sigh~ I went for lunch with him. failed in my attempt to tempt him to accommpany me after lunch~ LoL! he went home to rest~ I came home and slack abit more...

Was juz abt to really start studying when a lady by the name of Yvonne, from Her World Magazine called me to do a phone interview regarding an online community that I joined --> BeautifulPeople.net She basically wanna find out the definition of beauty from different people... I told her mine~ But I wonder how the write-up will turn out to be. =P

And then, I started studying!! But then I can't absorb, coz it's really toooooo difficult~ SIGH! =( I studied till abt 6pm then prepared to go school... And was almost LATE for my test~ phew! and I sat down, did the 1st qns, and proceed on to skip and skip and skip the rest coz I dunno how to do... By the time I reached Qns25, I know there's a serious problem. I really dunno how to do! I sit inside and stare into blank space~ then decide to juz try my luck and GUESS the answers... after the test, the lecturer went thru the answers AND I FAILED THAT PAPER.. =' '(

what made me really angry is... the lecturer din go thru the sample test paper found at the back of our lecture notes! and the questions ALL came from there~ *faiNtz* I HATE MY IME LECTURER NOW!!!! hmpfff!!!!

baby went to fetch me even though he have a headache~ poor dear... I complained all the way back home~ I mean, I got to let out that anger... ARRGGHHHH!!

after baby went home, I got nothing constructive to do... SO in order to let out some stress and my super bad mood, I helped mum clean up the stove area, wash the dishes, mop the kitchen, tidy my room... then I continue to sulk and click on my favorite mindless game called Word Mojo



I got tired of tat. Celia juz told me my blog is boring coz there's no updates and so decided to update my blog~ and so... you see this post! *griNz*

Sigh~ juz brooding~

I'm sick.. have been sick for days now. Down with a bad throat, a blocked nose and a bad cough~ Every nite the fever comes back as well... sigh!

Being sick, naturally I feel weak... It's affecting my mood as well...

Met up with baby juz now. He bought me some chinese herbal tea with extra powder mixture added. It's super bitter!!! But after drinking, I do feel better and coughing less.

I got some liquor promo job introduced to me by Sharolyn - a fren I know from Singapore Face competition. I know baby dun like my job and esp dislike it when I work at nite in nightspots, so I asked him for his opinion on whether I shld take up the job. He said better not.

I know since I asked him for his opinion, so I shld listen. Else why do I ask, right? it's not his fault for disliking my work... But still I dun feel good~ sigh~ it makes me feel think about some stuff. Will I really listen and dun take up the promo? Am I ready to give up my work? I mean, I really dunno the answer...

I only know, I hate the feeling of being broke... I'm afraid of having no money and fall back the kinda life style where I have practically zero cash. This is good income and has helped me pull through a lot of my financial difficulties as well... Am I ready to give it up? I also dunno...

I feel tat it's juz work. I'm not doing something indecent. It's juz working as a promoter in nightspots. It's already not easy having to support myself juz doing part-time work and having to study full-time. My parents are gng through a rough financial patch as well. It's not as if they can still afford to give me allowance. I'm not earning extra cash so that I can go shopping and buy stuff I like. I'm working so that I can pay my fees and provide for myself, basic necessities... Sometimes, I feel tat everything is really juz so difficult and I juz feel like breaking down. But I usually keep reminding myself of more positive stuff - like it's only a few more months and I'll be able to work full-time, and I pull through... I never have someone to lean on~ I hate this feeling of being independent and having no one really close to talk to.

Now I have something extra to worry abt - he dun like my work. I wanna respect him, but it's really not easy, esp when I think of the extra money I can earn if I work.

I became very quiet when he said no. I know he's not happy becoz of my reaction. It's like, if i dun intend to listen, why ask? But I also dunno how to explain to him my own financial concerns. I feel that he won't understand anyway. I dun wanna quarrel over this issue coz there's nothing to argue about. I also dun wanna explain myself and coax him coz I dun feel good myself either. In a way, I feel very disappointed.

I know this is one area tat he won't be able to provide the kinda mental and emotional support I need when I feel the mental stress that comes with the job. And the stress of providing for myself financially. My frens know, I dun really like my work, it's all becoz of the money. This past 2 years, I've alr forced myself to face a lot of bad remarks that comes from pple I care alot regarding my job. I feel hurt too... =(

I know alot of other students earn their own keep as well. So I really shldn't be complaining. But maybe becoz I dun have the mental strength, I really can't take the stress sometimes, esp when I can't cope with my studies. sigh~

Why do I feel that
NOBODY understands me?!?!

Sorry Cass!!

I owe my agency - Trix Venture an apology becoz some time back in January this year, I wrote something quite mean on my blog and today the boss went to read abt it. Apparently, her clients saw wat I wrote.

I wrote tat piece becoz I was really very frustrated over tat issue at that point of time, so I din think much abt the consequences. Afterall, I thought I was juz grumbling on my blog, I din realised tat search engines pick out details like tat. I agree, it's very irresponsible of me... I'm sorry!

To clarify, it's really juz a misunderstanding.

MS FINALLY done!

I was rushing out my MS journals till 530am in the morning~ when I sms the girls - Jasmine and Jessna at 4.30am, they replied me!! GOSH~! seems like they're also burning the midnight oil to complete the journals. I woke up at 10am coz i'm too tensed to sleep in longer... My mind is still very tired. I feel bad for asking them to compile the project coz I gotta work later at nite for an event - The Friends of Jack Party @ Chijmes. Reporting time is at 530pm!! the actual work starts at 830pm. sigh~ waste of my time... There'll be free flow of Jack Daniel's from 8.30pm to 10pm... Hope it won't be too boring~

I've done whatever I can do. now it's up to them to compile and hand it in~ another project down. DPP2 deadline coming up though. 12th September... :'(

classic case of paranoia in a r/s?

I woke up and my nose is still feeling horrible! In the grossest term, I got tons of mucus stuck in my nose tat refused to come out even when I blow my nose... sigh~ nose block! I thot sleeping will make me feel better and recover... apparently it does not really help~

OH NO! I'm getting paranoid... 1st thing tat suddenly came to my mind when I wake up is how come EL din pick up my call when i called him last nite at 12mn leh.. hmmm.. could he be out somewhere and so din pick up? or with someone else? then tell me he's sleeping?!?!

AIYA, I'm juz being overly-sensitive and I know it... But I got this thot coz I had bad experience with the previous guy la, so this thot popped into my mind. but like wind, the thot juz came and go... afterall, baby is sick last nite, under influence of medication, the possibility of him dozing off and so din msg me good nite is definitely greater than him going out/dating someone else~ I trust him... ;)

Grumblings~ MS Sucks...

I’m stuck in school discussing my Managing Strategically (MS) project the whole day!! I think 3pm till 10pm is consider whole day right? MS sucks BIG TIME... sigh~ last nite I was sifting through information from various sources till 3am in the middle of the nite and it's juz sickening!! This morning I din wake up in time for lecture (as usual) and only woke up when EL called me at 1030am~ sigh!

After calling me, baby drop by after going to the doctor and bought food for me~ I feel bad, coz he's sick, still gotta worry abt whether I EAT~ he's coughing quite badly, I shld be the one showering lotsa love on him since he's sick eh... But I’m so stressed out over MS Memo tat I dun have much time to even ask whether he's alright. *frowN* hope baby get well soon~

Before I leave for school at 230pm, my youngest bro, Wai Lap came home with a swollen arm. At first, Mum and I thot tat he got into a fight with his frens, only to find out tat he fell coz he was playing and got clumsy~ the arm was so swollen tat it kinda got everyone worried that he might have broken a bone but he din seem to mind the pain... baby gave me a ride to sch and so I told him abt Wai Lap~

Then at ard 930pm, baby told me Wai Lap is only suffering from muscle strain. I asked him how did he know and he told me he juz send my bro and my mum to the doctor. (I was still in school at 930pm... sigh!) -_-" I was so surprised! Apparently, he called my bro and send them to the doctor for X-RAY~ AND he din tell me! hahahaha~ I feel kinda weird actually, but also very happy coz he can integrate with my family and I think it's really sweet of him...

I'm being too pampered by baby. EL have been fetching me home from project meetings or school almost everyday~ But Mum told me tat baby look really tired when he send them ard, so I thot to save him the trouble, I shall make my way home myself~ Then BINGO! Kevin walked out from the lecture theatre... Being long-time frens, I very buay paiseh and asked him whether I can hitch a ride from him since he's only living one street away~ of coz he said yes~ hahaha... So I called baby and told him I’m hitching a ride from a fren instead~

Moment i got home, I started searching for articles and information AGAIN! no life man~ it's Ladies nite today somemore... *duhz* then Mum suddenly ask me, "have you eaten?". I think for one full min before realizing tat I had lunch but not dinner~ And then my stomach starting GROWLING! In the end, got dad to buy food back for me~

Now, I think i'm getting sick as well~ i shall take a break from the project research and get some sleep coz my running nose is simply irritating the shit outta me... got a fever, which I think is due to my sore throat. sianzz! Enough of grumblings~

For EL ONLY --> BABY, I LOVE YOU! Hope you'll get well soon... muack!

Moody...

oday I feel exceptionally moody. sigh! I barely finished my journals on time coz I was procrastinating as usual. As always, I'm the "group leader" for my project, therefore placed in charge of the final compilation and checking of the final product. The project due today is the BGGC Memo and Interim Journals. I compiled everything, checked through thoroughly, make all necessary changes, print it out, settle all the administrative stuff such as cover page, assignment declaration form and have to travel to school to hand it in. It's not difficult, juz very tedious. Was freaking afraid that I'll be late! was abt to force my bro, Alan to send me to school when EL called and "saved" my day by offering to send me instead. Meeting up with him always make me smile...

After sending me to school to drop my assignment , we went to his place for dinner. Chilled over at his place after dinner... was having a conversation with his mum when she tell me the "Hokkien" name of their dog - J.J - it means sit sit... Mispronouncing J.J in Hokkien is "sit sit" I dunno why, but I had a gd laugh coz I find it really amusing...

When i was at his place, I did a sneaky thing and looked through the photos in his computer without him knowing, only to make myself feel weird and uncomfortable after seeing pics of him with his ex-gf... Sigh! Jealousy... Silly things we humans do sometimes... But it's my own fault to even peep, so I can't possibly be upset abt it I guess. Brushing the unhappy feeling aside, I juz burrow into his arms and buried myself in his snug hug to seek that comfort that I needed so much to make myself feel better... Already in a moody state, only to make myself feel worse by doing stupid things... Downright dumb!

EL accompanied me to meet Celia for supper or rather, juz a catching up session actually... Listening to her talk abt her relationship suddenly makes me scare and a sudden lack of confidence in my own relationship... Sigh! I suddenly feel that i'm caring too much, too fast, and it scaring me.

I always feel that if I care a lot for someone, he/she have the ability to hurt me more. I'm really quite scare of getting hurt again. I'm also afraid that i'll choose to 'escape and run away' again when I feel the pressure or when we face a problem. I'm guilty of doing that, that's why all my relationships didn't last long after YM... EL is too good to me, making me worried that I might not be able to measure up. Sigh... Mood swing... Lotsa weird thoughts crowding up my mind tonite.

Gonna sleep now... Long day tmr! sianzzz... I got NO mood to do anything constructive recently...

Fashion Profile for Pisces

Got this interesting piece about sun sign's fashion profile on iVillage

Pisces Fashion Profile

The Fish likes to be able to flow in and out of clothing with ease. Most at home barefoot, in long, flowing skirts, you are most in tune with the world around you when your clothing is comfortable to the point of nonexistence. Clothes are, in fact, a social construct. You know you can't wander about naked, though, so you go to bargain stores and thrift shops to get yours. If you had it your way, you would probably go about in a bathing suit all day, throwing on a plastic bag or two when it got cold. You're flexible, though. If you buy a power suit and wear it like you mean it, you will eventually grow into it. Once you get past the hang-up of having something on your feet, you're prone to buying tons of shoes, so at least your toes can have some variety in their prison.

Moonstones are a good bet to adorn your body in strange places. Belly chains, anklets and, especially, toe rings cast a fantastical glimmer over whatever it is you're wearing. Hair that is long and tangled quickly becomes hair that is long and braided when the Fish needs a quick fix. When left in your natural state, you don't give a lot of thought to clothing. Pisces is a chameleon, however, so wherever you go and whatever you do, you never need to worry about fitting in.


Now i know why i love to go au natural? i dun mind juz bikinis too~ hahahaha... j/k!

For other signs have to click on the link above and read on your own! *griNz*

Eddie Lim - My Baby

juz in the mood to write about us~

this is me and my baby - Eddie Lim

He made me feel loved... really loved and doted on~ a feeling tat i haven't felt for some time...

We started off with being friends. the way we know each other is quite crap actually... online net frens! ha~ met him the day after i got discharged from hospital. it was a very very rough period for me. I was kinda lost... And he gave me the support and attention i needed at tat time, helping me along in finding my path~ I appreciate tat in the friendship he gave me.

After some time, I start to find comfort in juz contacting him... a simple msg, a phone call, msn chats... Then our friendship went thru a rough patch, the dilemmas we both felt strongly. Whether is it right? or wrong? I dare say we went through some, if not a lot, together~ friendship turned into a relationship... a very special bond we feel for each other.

However wrong the situation seems in the beginning, i can't bear to see him go even though i keep telling him to go away... I believe he felt the same at that time. We gave each other the time and space we both needed~ And in his own way, though not always verbally, he gave me the reassurance tat everything will turn out fine eventually... even though i felt very sad, i trusted him, and i waited for him... We finally officially got together on 9th August. *smiLez* good eh! every year anniversary, he'll confirm have time for me, coz it's public holiday! LoL!

He did a lot of sweet stuff for me... something i really appreciate and wanna say a big THANK YOU DEAR!

when i'm down, he'll meet up with me in the afternn juz to have lunch together with me. After lunch, he stayed a while longer juz to talk to me. (I always felt bad for keeping him from his work)

when i needed help for my project, he helped me by sacrificing his sleep, painstakingly churn out the information i needed juz so that i dun have to do it coz i dun have enuff time alr. (i'm not proud of tat fact tat i din do my own work... but i really think it's sweet of him to even think of helping me this way) He motivated me nicely even though i ought to be juz scolded for being so plain lazy. I still remember he brought me chips and ice-cream in the middle of the nite so that i can have something to munch on if i'm hungry or tired.

He'll send me to sch/work or come and fetch me from sch/work coz he dun want me to be too tired. (even though sometimes it's really out of the way!) Once, he was already sleeping, and he woke up juz to come Suntec and fetch me home after work @ 1am!

He'll accompany me and wait for me to dye my hair, even though he's quite bored really. (I think not many guys with have this kinda patience)

He'll listen to me yak about my day and he'll share with me about his day. this is really impt to me~ coz it juz feels good tat we're sharing our lives.

He tries his best to accompany me whenever he's free. Everyday, after his work, after his dinner at home, he'll come over and juz spend time together at my place... he dun make me feel cramped coz he'll let me juz do my own stuff if there's any, and not disturb me at all, giving me my personal space and juz quietly watch TV or talk to my youngest bro~ i juz love his presence...

When i feel like going outta the house, he'll bring me out for a cruise. even though with no aim in mind, he'll juz bring me, coz i wanna get out... juz to make me feel happier, no questions asked~

He really makes me feel good by juz putting our pics on his Friendster and MSN. LoL! It's like announcing to everyone tat we're together~ i find this really sweet, coz seriously, not many guys in my life did this. He developed our pic, laminated it and placed it in his wallet. (i know this sounds lame, but i really love tat... heez)

He's respectful to my parents and in his cute way, tried to get along with my 3 brothers... my elder bro is fierce, younger bro is crappy and youngest bro a pest~ but he juz managed to get along with all 3 of them... It's really nice to see tat. He called my youngest bro juz tonite to asked whether he had dinner and whether he need us to buy dinner back for him! And i didn't even know who he's calling until he put down the phone~ even though i teased him abt it and said it's his strategy to get into my bro's good books and get my info from him, i really appreciate it!

He'll hang out with my frens together with me~ tolerate their questions about him and smile through the whole ordeal~ haahaa! He can sit through my gal-frens yakking session and also go drinking session with my guy-frens... versatile for my sake~

He'll stay up late, give up his sleeping time and accompany me online juz becoz i'm not sleeping~ And he dun usually stay up late. And he can't sleep in late like me coz he gotta work~

Today, he's sick, but still he came to accompany me~ To kill time, we went to Bukit Timah to play pool together with my buddy Anthony. I din know how to take care of him though. Other than nagging at him to take his medicine, drink more water and smoke less, i seriously dunno what else to do~ sigh...

He'll gives me the reassurance tat i need~ Even though he dun say them directly, I know tat he cares for me, thru the things he do, the things he said... even though i always say i'm a strong gal, value my freedom, independent blah blah blah~ i really feel much much better with these reassurance... tonite, i was actually feeling rather annoyed after seeing some pics, but somehow, though his speech and his sincere words, i know i shldn't worry or even think abt it.

He'll protect me in his own way and try his best not to let me get hurt.

And of coz, there's alot alot more stuff....

Sweetest thing, he tells me he loves me...

i wanna let him know i noticed all these things he did for me and i really really appreciate it~ I always feel tat i'm lucky to have him as my bf. Sometimes, i feel tat i'm not good enough for him... But i guessed i will juz try my very best...

I LOVE YOU TOO!! *huGz*
BABY, I will try my best to be a good girlfriend...

More of our pictures!! muahahaha~ *griNz*

:: Picture of Bliss ::
self-taken in his car actually...

:: My Fav Picture ::
when my hair is still purplish~ 1st time we went KTV together...
He say I managed to "impress" him tat day~

:: In His Latest Levi's Glasses ::
he's a vain lass~ muahahaha...
this is his latest craze. his new Levi's specs~

something sweet...

I've been lazy~ so haven't been updating frequently enuff for my liking... every nite i'm sleeping real late... and then i wake up even later~ kaoz! everyday sleep at 3am++ and then wake up 1pm++! i'm like a zombie! i think i've been bitten by the LAZY bug~ =(

But i wanna record down something... something sweet~ He came and fetch me home after night lecture so that i won't be tired~ And he bought me dinner coz he knew i'm lazy and din have any food before i rush down to school for class~ i appreciate all this sweet gestures tat he did for me... thanks dear!

I hope i won't get too spoilt by him though~ haahaa... *griNz*

True Love will never become Hatred

♥ 真正爱一个人是无法说出原因的，
你只知道无论何时何地、心情好坏，
你都希望这个人陪著你；
真正的感情是两人能在最艰苦中相守，
也就是没有丝毫要求。
毕竟，感情必须付出，而不是只想获得；
分开是一种必然的考验，
如果你们感情不够稳固，只好认输，
真爱是不会变成怨恨的。♥

And how true i think this is...

Super Spoiler!

It's a BAD BAD day... everything started to go wrong since 12mn~ very tempted to write abt everything here, but i shall not coz it'll juz make me more and more angry... I'm glad i went to meet Celia after class for some bitching session to find my balance, else i'll explode and scream at THE SHREWD tat spoilt MY DAY~! i still can't believe she can miss call me so many times!!

Yesterday was supposed to be my happiest day, coz my baby finally gave me an answer to my question... we're finally an item! it really means a lot to me. And so, National Day marks the beginning of forever~ we spent the whole day juz slacking together at my place then went to Bedok for dinner, then slack some more at home... was feeling incredibly happy the whole day, only to get it spoilt to the MAX by her at nite... super spoiler! hmpff!!

but nvm... my mood's getting better alr... though i predict more stuff will happen and we will not have our peace any time soon~ sigh!

人不痴狂罔少年

人不痴狂罔少年

this chinese phrase keep appearing in my mind recently... it means something like one's youth is wasted if one did not do any reckless/stupid stuff when they are young? So basically, something like live life to the fullest kinda thing...

i wonder what will be a good english translation for it so that the meaning will not be lost~ haahaa!

Simple Joys

i haven't been crying for some time. Learning to be strong? Actually I'm juz getting by, picking myself up slowly... All in all, i'm doing fine since the incident almost 2 months back now...

Last nite, tears flow for a fren coz i feel really sad tat he's not happy with his life now. I dunno why but i feel deeply for him for the situation tat he's stuck in. i juz hope he will be happy. I hope all my frens will be happy and healthy! So all my dear frens, learn to smile and appreciate life... =)

Embrace the simple joys of juz opening ur eyes to the beautiful morning and a bright new day~ snuggle in bed for a while and enjoy the warmth of your bed and quilt, or better still, the warmth of ur beloved in your arms... It's your choice to be happy everyday! *smiLez*

Like today~ i indulged in a simple breakfast fare with my mum - coffee, bread and eggs (sunny-side-ups done to perfection by mummy), talking abt what happened to me recently at work, at school and my feelings, sharing my troubles, worries and happy or funny stuff that happened... She talked abt hers as well~ it makes us understand each other on a deeper level. Although it's sad to say tat all this sharing comes only after something happened to me, but i'm glad finally we're starting to talk and share... I'm sorry to make her worried, but part of me is glad tat the incident made us closer and we pay more attention to each other now. juz plain chit chatting with my family brightens my day... in the end, my brothers joined us as well. We talked, joked and ask about each other more~ =)

I spent my day lying in bed with a cup of hot tea by my bedside, reading a romance novel and listening to music while my youngest brother planted himself in front of the computer playing his online game - Maple Story... occassionally, he'll exclaim to me abt the game when he gets some "freebies" (or issit weapons?). Or he's yak abt his frens in school and the stupid things they did. recently he subtly asked me, "why do pple have infatuations?" LoL~ tat's part of him growing up... afterall, he's only 13-yr-old~!

usually the computer is out of access for him when i'm home, but weekends, i try to let him use it for gaming since he's in school on weekdays. And he's sick this weekend, quite poor thing, so i gotta try and make him feel better... A compromise between siblings~ afterall, i still love him dearly even though he's such a pest sometimes!

All these little little things are juz some simple joys... there are lots more that will make me happy as long as I learn to embrace it and be contented~

Learn to take a break from work sometimes as well (this comment is really targeted at one particular gal-fren whom i care for, but dun see enuff of! you know who you are, you workaholic!)

ALL DONE! Hooray~

I've finally finished my report... EL came over to accompany me juz now~ helped me with my resume writing and think of the right words to describe ME! heez... Then i realised this one whole week, i've been meeting him every single day~ 7 days now...

But i'm happy to see him la... Overall, i'm so so happy tat that i've finished my report... tmr i shall go HAND IN MY REPORT! Hooray~~!!

my report and my personalities...

i'm eating Ben & Jerry Strawberry Cheesecake ice-cream now~ *griNz* EL bought it for me so that I have something to munch on when i'm bored with my report or feel sleepy... i'm feeling abit of BOTH now, so i'm munching... Although i was surprised, it's sweet of him to buy chips and ice-cream for me in the middle of the nite and deliver to my hse~ juz thinking abt it makes me smile... *sweeetzz*

it's freaking 5am and i'm still struggling with my report~ But i'm glad to say tat at least 80% is completed now~ Finally!! haahaa...

This report is quite interesting really... Thru all the self-analysis done, I get to know alot more about myself~ Something to do with career planning, so i gotta evaluate myself against the kinda career I wanna be in... I compared myself against the job of a Personal Banker.

My top 5 work values:
1. Lifestyle
2. Money
3. Prestige
4. Co-workers
5. Independence

According to the Holland’s Occupational Themes and Personality Theory, results from a self assessment quiz show that my personality type belongs to Social, with Enterprising following very closely... To find out more, can read about this theory on TheCareerKey.com

Then according to another theory - Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), results show that my personality type belong to the ENFP category~ Although this time round, the results defer from the previous time tat i took the test, I was told, a person's personality sometimes changes... But the results is still pretty near! previous results show tat I'm an ENTP... to find out more, can read about this theory on PersonalityPage.com

Then according to Belbin's team Role Theory, I'm the Coordinator role in a team... More on this theory on SuccessfulManagers.com

Then of coz i have a lot of other materials from books tat i zap on my trip to the JE library on wednesday~

ALL the theories indicate that I'm someone sociable with good people skill, place great emphasis on interpersonal relatioships... i find this point very true! The rest of the points, i do agree as well, but too long to place it all here~ The accurancy level of all the tests done is like 90% true!

Interesting~ and i'm tired now... gng to bed! shall continue and finish up my report later when i wake up~ nite nitez! *griNz*

priorities problems! =(

yesterday, I intended to stay home the whole day to do my report~ I skipped my morning class and was deciding whether to skip my night lecture... in the end, Simon from D'Classic Marketing called and asked me whether I can go down to Balaclava in the evening for an audition~ Sigh~ there goes my evening! I went down coz it's work and work means more MONEY~ heezz!!

But there goes my momentum for school work as well~ Oh well, the audition is for a Budweiser job on Monday evening... They're the official sponsor for the movie, The Wedding Crashers and so they're giving out free premiere tickets on Monday to customers who buy Budweiser. After my interview, I had dinner with Don at Beach Rd - Hing Wa Restaurant... Then I went down to Boat Quay for drinks with EL! in the end, I met Anthony and Chiron there... We left tat place at 1am!! so much for an early nite so tat i do my report~ i think i really need to reflect on my time management man~ =(

EL helped me do a huge part of my report on Wed nite! If he knows tat i'm actually juz clicking absent-mindedly on my internet research links and also clicking on my minesweeper at the same time, I bet he'll be so disappointed in me~ Personally i feel tat i'm not worth helping coz sometimes, i'm juz too lazy! =( But still, i'm very glad tat he helped me... EL, i'm grateful! Thanks~!! muackz!

I definitely cannot finish my report in time to hand in today le~ guess will have to do it 1st thing on Monday morning ba~ sigh!! it's the 1st time i hand in my assignment past the deadline... I'm worried and stressed out... But i really cannot finish, so i guess tat's my only choice now~

Need to prepare to go for work now~ working for Carlsberg tonite... last nite of their "Private Jet" promotion~ I can't believe I'm skipping my report to work!! arrggghhh~!! I shall continue when i get back from work ba...

Research time again...

i juz reached home from Jurong East Library... Went there to do research for my Career That Works - Industry Report assignment~ it's due on Friday! and i haven't started yet! hmmm, actually i did, i went to dig out all my notes which is chucked somewhere since I came back from Australia~ And i did try my best to recall what was taught there but i can't seem to remember anything tat is useful, except shops closes at 5pm! LoL~

Anyway, a fren - Alex who live in Simei, accompanied me to the library today~ so sweet right?! live so far away still accompany me~ hahaha... actually he's also staying at NTU hall la~ Initially, I wanted to go there to photocopy the short articles from The Straits Times Recruit... Then, i decided to zap some info about the personality tests tat I took so tat i can put it as references as well~

During dinner, he told me tat his frens checked out his friendster and comment tat I'm kinda cute~ muahahaha!! ego-booster wor~ yeah~! And he went to tell me abt his chio hall-mates, or rather the lack of chio hall-mates that makes his life there a little dull... a highly amusing topic~!

Back to my report, I realised how little have I done when i reached home and take a look at my assignment guidelines! sigh~ And i'm still slacking, doing everything else except start on my report~ But at least i stayed home and skipped clubbing on a ladies nite wor~ LoL!

Back to my research now~ wish myself luck and a little self-motivation~!!

you know who you are...

i know you read my blog...i wanna let you know, i'm really happy to see you today for lunch. When you said you're gng swimming, i was kinda hoping you'll ask me. When you din, i juz intended to go anyway... In the end, the weather dun permit it. Fate maybe? sigh~

we're no longer at ease with talking abt our feelings in front of each other, making each catching up session awkward for both of us. With uncomfortable silence, pondering abt wat each other is thinking... it's making me miserable... How I wish everything remains the same as the past~ =(

Prank Calls

i've been getting some prank calls recently from a "private number". Not once or twice, it's getting more and more frequent? The caller dun speak and called at wee hours... last nite, i picked up twice~ once at 12am+, another close to 2am~ Some time back, say a week or two ago. once, that bugger called at 4am!! Sigh~! wat's wrong with these people?!?! nothing better to do?!?! luckily, i'm not the kind who sleeps early, so i wasn't asleep when the phone rang... i'll still pick up and greet the caller...

sigh~ so many people dun like me wor~ BUGGER, if you really dun like me, can call and TALK to me... dun keep quiet and test my patience ya... *smiLez* i got absolutely no idea who you are anyway, so if you wanna call and irritate me, it's not tat easy. I'll still say "Hello" in my sweetest voice, as you've heard over the phone, coz i pity tat you're sick in ur mind and you need professional help~ *tsk tsk*

你好可怜哦！！！

Fishing. Fun? Not fun?

gosh~ i actually went fishing on a Sat nite! haha.. Nigel's idea~ he's a fishing enthusiast. His brother jio him, and he asked me along. i thot, i shall give it a try, maybe it's not tat bad, in the end, i was still bored stiff. Luckily i bought a novel to keep me company. But at least they caught something, so it's not a wasted trip. ;P

i learnt something new last nite... there's actually a lot of knowledge and equipments to fishing~ there's actually something to hold the rod after they cast so they dun have to keep holding it... i feel like an idiot when i asked his brother wat's tat and he replied. LoL~

if i hang out more with Nigel, i think i'll have more fishing trips to look forward to. Not tat i really look forward to it, coz i dun have much patience, but tat's his hobby. He got so much stuff in his room tat's for fishing~

sick again today... had a flu the whole day~ sigh! perhaps a caught a cold last nite ba. it's quite chilly sitting by the shore the whole nite. End of it, i was dozing off, and with a headache coz i was feeling tired and cold.

It's like a monthly routine to be down with a cold and have a sore throat. I'm quite sick of it alr. I stopped popping Vitamin C after my hospital trip coz i'm quite scare~ Have a major phobia of pills now. Maybe tat's why i'm falling sick again. Think i shld start eating my Vit C again. :)

Paid to be a VASE...

been working at Raffles Place for the past 3 days from 11am to 2pm. Basically, i'm juz there to be a VASE! there's not much to do, or rather, we're not supposed to do too much, except stand there and smile. It's for the IPO of Maple Tree Logistics Trust. I was there to distribute the prospectus, and really, we only stand there and "distribute".

We're not allow to do any form of selling, and tat includes [1] cannot hand out the prospectus, so we cannot physically take the book and pass to the people. They have to take from the table themselves. [2] We cannot answer any questions abt the trust, only allow to tell them, refer to the prospectus for more information. Basically, my job scope is to stand there and tell people tat "the offer closes on Friday 8am". We juz keeep repeating tat to whoever takes the book... EASY job~ Only requirement is tat we need to put on makeup and look well-groomed. And i was paid very very well, for this simple job~

On yesterday and Tues, i actually have lectures starting at 2pm, so i was late for both days~ but at least i turned up. ;P

Yesterday evening, I went to Funz' place for a house party. Her housemate and cousin whipped up lotsa delicious food and invited quite a lot of friends over~ but i dunno anyone of them except for Funz, her sister - Weisum and her sister's fren. Was glad to see Funz home a little earlier than her usual. Sorta worried for her, coz her working style is scary~ Workaholic! no point nagging at her, she gotta control her own time and slowly get back to normal. Spending 12 - 14hrs everyday at the office is really not healthy. And i heard sometimes, it's even more than tat~ sigh!

Intended to go to Club Momo after the house party actually, but i was lazy. And i promised someone tat i will not go since he's not ard... juz an impromptu cheeky promise, but i held my end of the deal. But still, i went out till late nite, coz i met Chiron and Anthony for coffee.

went to the Jurong East library today after work. I like being in the library. Gives me a sense of peace? i like the quietness... hahaha~ After reaching home from the library, Dad asked me to drive him to Thomson to collect his lorry. Now tat my brother is not helping him at work anymore, he gotta drive the lorry on his own. So i drove him there and gets to drive to school later. Good~ i can start thinking where to go after lecture... muahahaha~

Interesting Quotes

I was reading through my collection of quotes today and these two quotes juz stands out to me today... And so, here goes!

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn.
       -- Gore Vidal

my weekend~ =)

this weekend is a busy but fulfilling one! I met Jordan for coffee on Friday afternoon... Finally he's back from Thailand, but only for a short period of time. He's leaving again on Tuesday.

Jordan's my buddy from Singapore Poly days... our friendship started becoz he helped me when i was struggling with my 1st project in DMSE course, under this module called DGVA. I was supposed to do a short video clip using pics and transitions effects, adding a little music and stuff. And i was totally lost... LoL~ and being a kind soul, Jordan helped me... from then on, we had a friendship gng on even though plenty of our peers dun really like him coz of his queerish personality (or so they said). although we seldom hang out together a lot, we remain close friends throughout the years in poly. We can talk abt anything and everything. Nowadays, i only get to see him when he's not in Thailand~ He's serving his NS over there...

After that, we went to Suntec to look for Roland. Roland's my ex-bf from some time back. He's a good-looking egomanic! always saying tat he'll make it BIG in the modelling world someday. hahaha... i wish him good luck!! I introduced the both of them when we were still a couple and they kept in contact even after me and Roland's off... Roland's working at Suntec and since we had nothing to do, we went down to look for him while waiting for Don to meet me for dinner~

i was supposed to be working at nite but the Carlsberg promo was cancelled last min and i was quite mad at them coz the agency informed me quite late. I feel tat it's rather irresponsible of them. Met Don for dinner at Suntec Marché... Dinner was great~ initially i was getting quite impatient coz i waited for some time, but i guess it's a small thing, so after he turned up, i'm ok..

after dinner, was down at Starlight again... not much people there on Friday night. But guess it's fine with me, coz i get to sing more songs without waiting for so long? LoL~ Roland went with me, iaN was there as well. after Starlight, met Chiron for supper at Blk 503 for supper, but in the end i din eat. I was so tired that i slept till 6pm on Sat!!

Woke up juz to prepare to go to Club Momo again~ =P

Went there with Amy and Kevin~ it's been such a long time since i've seen Kevin!! kinda miss the days where we hang out and eat ice-cream with Xiaojun~ ;)

Everything was fun on Sat night.. lots of my frens were there~ but still one same complaint~ the dance floor is too damn crowded! Don told me tat Toni&Guy had a hair show there before i reached, and i juz feel kinda funny~ Initially i wanted to go earlier for the hair show, in the end, decided not to. same industry ma, wat to expect right? my heart still skips a beat~ Amy understands totally how i feel...

I got to know 2 new people tat nite - Jonathan and Nigel... Jonathan juz happens to be next to us all the time we're there, so i talked to him since he's sitting next to me. And Nigel is a fren of a guy whom i know from Momo on Wed nite - name's Alvin. Nigel seems like a really nice guy though...

After Momo, we went for supper at Havelock Road - Teochew Porridge... Kevin said they're robbers coz it's always very expensive to eat there? so amusing~ this kinda food is always this price one ma~

Don and I actually really went jogging this morning as promised!! 1st time i wake up so early juz to go jogging AFTER a clubbing nite~ so proud of myself?! actually, Don had a hard time waking me up i think.. =P we went to West Coast Park for a jog, then had MacDonald's breakfast there. Been some time since i had Mac's breakfast. Last time i went was abt a month back, with EL... we went for a swim after jogging~ so healthy!! LoL~ we act one la, in the end, we were juz dipping in the jacuzzi pool. so much for swimming~ heez! =D

back home and did my chores~ plenty of it to be done ard the house, coz me and mum have been slacking~ juz finished laundry and vacuuming the floor... taking a short break now *griNz*

MSE Reflection Journal due tmr!! i haven't started... hmm~ i feel so lazy eh... ='(

Club Momo

Went to Club Momo last nite despite all the comments i heard from some of my frens regarding tat place~ And i had a good experience on my 1st time there... *wiNkz*

Club Momo's cool with great music... It's quite spacious with 3 pool tables and a couple of bar counters. i dunno exact number coz i din walk ard much, abt 5 i think... The dance floor's quite crowded all the time though, coz it's quite small~ But luckily Vivien's frens had a table last nite, so we had our private space to dance at. The toilets have sofa inside~ like the club toilets in Melbourne... =)

all night long free flow of housepour for ladies on Wednesday nites... Till 5am! heez... i drank my fill last nite. But the bartenders seem to ignore me after a while, coz i keep asking for drinks?

think it'll be the place to be for the next couple of weeks till i'm sick of it? LoL~ Overall, I like Club Momo!! *griNz*

My SIM frens all left earlier than me... And i din even notice tat some of them left! =( coz i was having so much fun dancing, socialising, and walking ard the club meeting groups of other frens... EL came down to Momo as well, with his frens but his frens all left early and he waited for me. We left ard 3am after Amy's fren came down to fetch her. I'm only worried abt her coz she's gng thru a rough patch recently...

Leaving the club, on the way home, we almost had a car accident, not becoz he was drunk... But becoz he was speeding! hmpff! went into the tunnel too fast and while negotiating the corner, the car skidded. We heard a loud bang on the right side of the car and we thought most prob jialat liao. then he had a hard time trying to get the car back on track. after we stopped and checked the car, amazingly, there were not even scratches... phew~ but i think the rims and wheels alignment shld be affected ba. i dunno for sure though coz i was already in shock...

Luckily both of us were ok. But i was in shock and burst out crying! think i frightened him with my crying~ but he gave me the feeling tat he's more worried abt his car than abt me... and i dun really appreciate tat fact~ =P

Other than the little accident, i enjoyed myself last nite~ Club Momo, anyone?

BeautifulPeople.Net

yesterday morning, i went to this interview at Amoy St with this company called FulFord Public Relations. My fren, Shirley introduced me this promoter job - it is to promote a website for Beautiful People It's quite an interesting concept actually.

This website is a place for beautiful people to network. It is exclusive to beautiful people ONLY... Who decides who will be in this exclusive "club"?? They are the members themselves. Being beautiful themselves and already gained access to the club, they will get to vote each new applicant and eventually the votes will tell whether the applicant is consider beautiful and fit to join this exclusive club... a very daring and controversial idea!

But i personally feel that once they start to charge, it's juz be another online community site tat will eventually fail... Singapore's community is too small to form this kinda exclusive club. The culture is not like Denmark, UK and US. Over here, the beautiful people are already friends, and they mostly all hang out at Velvet Underground already~ who needs to network further using a website?!?! =P



If these next few weeks, someone walk over to you and pass you the card above tat says "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. But are you prepare to put it to the test?" It's most probably me or my colleagues~ pls take the card and be gracious abt the compliment tat we're giving you, coz we're told to be very selective and only beautiful people gets the card. LoL~

i wonder if i'm not working for this website, will they actually pass me this card on the streets? hmmm.... i'll definitely join the website and see whether i'll be voted in, or kicked out~ hahahahahaha!!

later in the evening i'll be working for this job from 7pm - 10pm... Hope it'll be fun coz now i have the perfect excuse to walk up to good-looking guys and talk to them~ muahaahaa~!!

wat a day~! wat an idiot~!

I woke up intending to meet Anthony for a swim today only to be greeted by the dark clouds and raindrops outside my windows. Sigh~ so no swimming for me, and back to bed. in the end, got a phone call from my god-bro, Desmond to go town and hangout and chill... he promised lunch and dinner on him! muahahaa~

we went to Sakae Sushi for lunch and was walking ard town juz killing time, when i decided i wanna catch a movie! we caught Fantastic Four!! and it's a really great show~



Johnny Storm is simply gorgeous~!! *droolz*




His character - Human Torch is my fav in this show~ snap snap fingers can produce fire! can fly ard and show off... sounds like my kinda thing~ LoL!!

Invisible Girl is damn cool as well, so i dun mind being her and having her powers coz her powers are the same as my fav character - Violet, in The Incredibles~

after the movie, we went to one of my fav restaurants - Din Tai Feng to have dinner~ a very very late dinner! haahaa~ i thot of wat Don told me, Din Tai Fung is actually under the same boss as BreadTalk...

Once, me and WT went to Din Tai Feng and he said the same thing~ i thot he was bluffing at tat time! I remembered telling him, the concept of Din Tai Fung's open kitchen is the same as BreadTalk, i wonder whether the boss copied the concept from BreadTalk. And WT said, they're using the same flour as BreadTalk~ I asked him how he know, he still say, coz BreadTalk and Din Tai Fung's boss are good frens~ duhz!! i was taken in for a moment! hmmm... now thinking back, i still dunno whether he really know tat BreadTalk and Din Tai Feng have the same boss~

After all tat, he came home with me and collected some installation CDs and i went to his house to help him fixed his computer... very very last min~ and very very late alr actually.. And i tried until 2am but i still can't get all his virus out coz 364 files infected! =x i think Desmond surf too much porn la~ LoL! j/k... He was on the phone with his fren the whole time i was there~ and he seems to be under a lot of stress coz of tat girl... hao ke lian!

i'm under a lot of stress as well, coz a fren's gf called me tonite! sigh~ I got this nauseous feeling when i heard, "i'm XXX's gf" i had this great sense of déjà vu~ why am i always in this kinda shitty situation~ not once, not twice! it's a lot of times!!!!

is it my character? i only treat guys as FRIENDS... get the facts right ok! if i go out with a guy, i treat him as a fren, if he wanna think otherwise, then dun go out with me!! i believe in plainly platonic friendship between guys and girls. Like the friendship between me and my buddy, Anthony and my god-bro, Desmond etc... so, i see nothing wrong with going out with guys BUT i hate it when they say they like me and then cannot take rejection well... Then it spoils the friendship!!! And make me feel tat i'm not worth being a fren with, only some target to be pursued!!

my fren actually went to tell the gf tat he likes me... *i'm gonna faint!* Now it appears as if i go into their relationship intentionally. first qns she asked me is, "do you know wat you have done?" FUCK! pls! get ur facts right! i NEVER EVER did the pursuing AND i kept saying "NO!" to him already lor, so it's got nothing to do with my choice~ it's HIS choice tat he likes me! i got no control over this as well... after what i've juz been through, who in the right mind will wanna be tangled in this kinda web of deception AGAIN?!?! use ur brain can~!!!

Leave me outta this shit alright~ i've got more than enough worries and troubles on my mind already... i'm so fucking angry, coz i hate it when others accused me! if you cannot control ur bf, pls dun accuse others of snatching him away~ if he loves you tat much, he won't stray~ duhz!! put him on a lease~!!

still very angry tat all this is happening AGAIN!!!! arrgghhh!!!

constant companionship

i visited my fren's dad in NUH last nite. He got stroke and was semi-conscious when i visited him. It's really sad to see him like tat. Makes me realised life is so so fragile... and tat there's lots more to life than wat i'm gng thru...

i had lunch with EL today at Clementi and then he sent me to sch for lecture. Although i reached there on time, which is RARE~ i sat outside after the break till the lecture ends with my frens, juz chatting... we were happily chit chatting and planning our get-together party on wed nite~ We intended to go to Club Momo after having dinner together @ Fish & Co, Dhoby Ghaut branch, the one next to Park Mall with a huge LOVE structure in front of it... i wonder if all of them will turn up or someone will last min be pilot and "fly aeroplane"... hahaha~

i missed being in their company~ when i was in Melbourne, we were all hanging out together everyday~ there was so much fun and laughter... constant companionship~ we became from acquaintance/lecture mates to fast-bonding FRIENDS~ in the short 3 weeks of staying together and hanging out everyday, we learnt abt each others' personality, emotions, temper and weird habits etc... we learnt how to tackle each other when there's tension and we became quite tuned to each others' feelings and emotions... which is GOOD, considering tat it's our last semester alr. Soon, we'll be parting and, meeting up only once a while, coz we'll be busy with our own lives. So we gotta arrange more of this kinda outings before graduation!

Juz like me and my poly girl-frens.. I always miss them~ But getting everyone to come out is always so hard to arrange, coz of our schedule... Hope we'll have a get-together real soon~ it's been a long time since we have dinner together GIRLS!

I need the time... =)

late again today~ for sch i mean... I was too tired from last nite and woke up late again. i think i'm getting old, coz i can't take long hours well now. i juz get so so tired by the end of the day. last semester, i can go without sleep coz of sch and work for days, and only sleep during the one or two free days tat i scheduled myself PER MONTH~ =/  Now, one long day, and i already feel so exhausted..

today's lecture is really stressful. we have to come up with our main research theme and questions for our DPP2 project and get the "contract" signed by the lecturer by the end of the day. And we haven't even discussed at all plus i reached sch late~ my fren, Amy who's in the same group as me, looked so stressed out when i arrived in sch... coz our fren, Vivien the 3rd member, was not in sch, coz she have swollen eyes~ hao ke lian... so she's ALL ALONE till i arrived, her look is priceless~ But luckily, we managed to get everything sorted out between both our brains in a short time. The contract was signed and mission accomplished~ yeah!

During my lunch break, i received this msg from a lady named Rachel, and her start of the msg is "Hi this is Rachel from Next Salon recommended by WT"... and i drop tears immediately. HA~ it's interesting even to myself why the tears came. [1] it's the first time since we no longer contact each other tat i even hear or see his name in full from anyone [2] he told me once tat only he will do my hair for me and no one else, so he won't allow his fellow stylist frens to cut my hair.. (and i did find it special in a cute way back then) So the fact tat he passed my number to some other stylist, it means it's no longer special... [3] i really do miss him tat much.

i know the story between us is history a long time back already and time will heal every kinda wounds... I believe no matter wat everyone tell me or advice me to do, i will need the time to really forget this person. i will definitely be upset for a while, coz i do love him in my own way, and he does affect me... after every failed relationship, it's normal to take some time to let oneself forget and carry on. Right? Who don't anyway? unless tat person dun really wanna be in tat relationship in the 1st place, then they'll find another person and get attached after a few days - "juz to be in a relationship", right? tat's wat i think~ some pple break up from even shorter relationships and "grieve" for even a longer time...

My frens tell me tat eventually i'll find someone better. And based on my character and maybe looks as well, i'll always have lotsa other guys going after me. I believe in tat too... And who knows, my soulmate might already be near me?! haahaa~ Life goes on, lectures continue, assignments need to be handed in, work goes on as well... but right now, WT still stands a huge place in my heart and in my memories. But life goes on for me... Time will help~ Juz like 2.5yrs back, YM stands a huge place in my heart for the longest time. And till now, he's always still in my memory~

after sch, i went to Clementi MacDonald's to have dinner ALL ALONE~ haahaa... coz my reporting location was Clementi Partyworld @ 630pm, so i went to grab a quick bite and went upstairs to report for work. today's work is very very relaxing, coz Partyworld dun have much customers drinking beer actually. We are basically juz walking along the corridors and popping our heads into the rooms once in a while... Went to Clementi branch - Bishan branch - Chinatown branch and last stop Orchard branch. Roving is more relaxing coz we get driven ard, and a lot of time is wasted travelling in the car and stuck in traffic jams, and still get paid~ =P But of coz, when we're at the location, we worked hard k... juz tat some locations, we juz cannot do much sales. Everyone knows tat when we go KTV, we seldom order a lot of beer~ most of the customers are non-drinkers... So was a bit tough~

after work, i was walking to Somerset MRT station when i decided to sit down on one of the stone benches along the way to find my handphones in my bag~ (i have a really huge bag) And i was actually sitting beside this "auntie" dressed sexily... In the midst of my frantic search for my handphones, i heard her "chase" up to an angmoh and ask "you want young lady, sir?" i was totally freaked out and immediately stand up and rush off... i din know she's conducting "business" along the streets~ i dunno why but i felt embarrassed... =P

took the train home and on the way, i was reading my novel and giggling to myself (coz of the book), and the people sitting in front of me muz be thinking i'm CRAZY~

I reached home pretty early today (12.05am), and intend to sleep early. beginning to worry abt my MSE Reflection Journal assignment~ sigh! maybe i'll start tmr since i got nothing to do tmr... i wanna sleep in LATE and get my rest! Finally... *smiLez*

school started.. work as well

Finally school started, and work started together with school as well~ my frens were commenting tat since i dun really need the money, perhaps i shld take a break from work coz they're worried abt me. But i guessed, i feel the responsibility to work and earn more instead of staying home and be a bummer... afterall, savings will deplete very fast if i dun work~ i feel tat i've rested enough and i do wanna earn back the thousand dollars tat flew away coz i can't work for THAT particular 4 days...

1st day of school (yesterday) was a typical 1st day for me... i woke up LATE (1030am instead of 8am) even though i had 3 frens calling me and 2 of them actually called twice~ 对,我是猪... haahaa! i reached during break time, and i reach on time to go in during the break ONLY becoz EL drove me to school, else i think i'll reached during lunch time instead... my frens in sch ain't surprised.. they were more surprised tat i actually turn up for lecture~ LoL! maybe tat's how bad my record was for lecture attendance.

after a full day of class, i'm really feeling groggy from too much info.. I hate DPP's workshop, coz they always repeat themselves over and over again, nagging and nagging non stop over the same issue.. sigh~ BAD MANAGEMENT?!?! =P

after class, i went to town with the agenda to buy a pair of black heeled court shoes for my Carlsberg Promo job~ I managed to get the job and worked tonite and will be working tmr nite as well... after choosing the court shoes from Heatwave, a store in Far East Plaza, the salesgirl tempted me to buy another pair by saying, "$4 off the next item" with a big bright smile~ *sob sob* I was so easily influenced and i bought another pair of white heels... muahahaha!

after buying the shoes, i walked ard a little more and bought a white cardigan, the exact same design as my purple one... coz i like the cutting ma! waste of money actually, coz i seriously dun need another white cardigan~ =/ BUT it's on sale ma~ so tat makes it a good buy, since i like the cutting... right?! *smuG*

after "shopping", i still had time on hand before my dinner appt with Willy, a fren i know from IT Show 2004 @ Suntec Convention Hall when i was working for Creative Zen Mirco. I din expect my shoppin to be done so fast actually. So i went to Raffles City to look for my fren, Celia who is working there, in order to kill tat 1.5hr in between. Cafe Cartel for dinner, and had a chat with him, coz haven't seen him for a long while... more than 4 months i think~

after dinner, we went to Balaclava to look for my frens, Mexz and Benson. They jio me go chill and drink~ promising an early nite, so i went.. we had a great time there! Balaclava's still my fav place to chill... Mexz took the WT's photo tat i kept in my wallet all the time. he said i shouldn't be still keeping tat pic in my wallet, even though i said i never take it out and see ma.. i thot he was joking when he confiscated tat photo, but in the end, he really never return it to me~ hmmm... we all headed home ard 1130pm, which is really early actually. But it's a good choice, coz i got class in the morning...

after Balaclava last nite, i had the horrible experience of almost blacking out in the toilet when i'm home.. till now, i dunno wat caused it. I was removing my makeup halfway in the toilet when i feel very very dizzy and everything juz spin ard me. i almost juz collapsed onto the ground. Everything juz blurred all of a sudden and i could feel myself losing conscious. But i "control" enough to allow myself to at least sit down slowly, instead of falling straight down. after sitting down and leaning against the wall for the longest time, (i seriously can't remember how long,) finally someone walked to the toilet and i managed to get "rescued" by my family member.. i couldn't even walked to my room, and i need to be carried. i know i'm not drunk coz i only had one and a half pint of Stella. i juz dunno what caused it...

today, i was still late for school. But earlier a bit la... i reached at 10am! but class suppose to start at 930am la. i was still feeling dizzy this morning actually so i kinda lie my head down all the way during lecture... coz everytime i move my head, the world spins. luckily, i feel much better by lunch time.

after another tiring and taxing full day class, i went to town to meet my god-bro, Desmond for dinner. We had Mos Burger and chat a little. he seems to be pretty troubled these days as well. After tat, i reported for work at Hard Rock Cafe~ it's the 1st time i do the "private jet contest" promo for them. We wore "stewardess" uniform which is green in colour~ Carlsberg's colours... personally, i think the uniform is quite nice actually~ we ran 4 places tonite - Hard Rock Cafe, Wisma IndoChine, Shanghai Disco (which is last time's Canto) and Emerald Hill's pubs. i prefer to do roving coz most of the time, we'll be travelling ard in the car, so got time to relax~ *griNz*

after knocking off, Don came to give me a ride home. But we went for porridge at Havelock Rd 1st, coz both of us were starving.. And i juz have to write everything down before i go Zzz... good nitez! ;)

To WT: Happiness

i bought a card from Gold Coast Dream World... it's like a motivational card. When i see it, i was thinking of WT. That was when he already started avoiding me by not returning my msgs and not picking up my calls... At tat time, i only wished he found Happiness.

And so, i bought the card even though i feel tat a single card like tat priced at AUD3.90 is a little ridiculous... But i juz find the words so touching.

And so, dedicated to WT...

Happiness

May you have enough happiness
to keep you smiling
Enough trials to keep you strong
Enough sorrow to keep you human
Enough hope to keep you happy
Enough failure to keep you humble
Enough success to keep you eager
Enough friends to give you comfort
Enough enthusiam to look forward
Enough faith to banish depression
Enough determination to
make each day better than yesterday

Sing till we drop

it's actually a fren's birthday today~ his name is Roland~ and i wanna wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may all your wishes come true~! *muaCkz*

i went to KBOX with Anthony today~ initially, we intend to sing from 11am to 2pm. In the end, the waiter asked whether we wanna extend and sing till 7pm and they'll only charge for one person. And so, we extended! LoL~ we sang till 6pm, which is 7 hours straight! there's only 2 of us... Sing till i'm so sick of singing now~

i'm actually looking for this song by Jay Chou but i forgot the title... The MTV is abt this genie in his mobile phone who suggested to him how to make his gf who is angry with him, to forgive him, by taking silly pictures and sending it to her mobile... Then in the end, after getting back together with his gf, he still carry on taking pics, but sending it to the genie instead... how ar? anyone knows? the last time i saw it, was during a KBOX session with Jeffy, which is a long long time ago~ Towards the end of the session, Anthony and me tried to find it by choosing all the Jay Chou's songs... But we still cannot find it! kinda frustrating and disappointing~

after singing, Anthony gave me a ride to Cityhall to meet Celia for dinner... in the end, we travelled to West Mall to eat instead. West Mall reminds me of EL, coz juz recently we went there together to eat and i bought a korean serial drama VCDs called <<大长今>> for my mum.

had a good catching up session with Celia, talking abt everything yet like nothing. juz typical girls talk really~ after dinner, i headed home, intending to have an early nite.. In the end, EL appeared under my block, giving me a surprise~ ;D So i went downstairs, sat in his car and chit chat... another talk abt everything, but yet nothing session..

i like being in EL's company, coz like me, he can talk a lot of rubbish...   "有的讲,才有的笑"~ meaning, "when there's chatter, then there's laughter" I cannot stand being with someone who [1]only talks abt himself [2]always only make fun of others [3]DUN TALK and juz act cool...

EL gives me a comfortable feeling, like I've known him for a long time, when in actual fact, we know each other for only a very short time... we almost never have an awkward moment when we're hangin out together. *griNz*

school's gonna start tmr~ i got this terrible feeling tat i'll definitely be late. i've mention to 3 of my frens to give me a morning call at 8am.. i wonder if i can make it on time for lecture on the 1st day~ haahaa! Start of school with 3 full days of workshop for DPP2 scheduled right in the beginning... i think i will concuss with too much info jammed into my brain~ see how it goes tmr ba... =

no idea wat to write as title?

I still have nothing much to do everyday.. sch is not starting yet~ another 2 more days of boredom for me? I went swimming (again...) with EL. last min decision! woke up coz he called and i suggested swimming coz he said he have some free time and he dun feel like working~ LoL... i've never met anyone with so much "free" time when it's time to be working... ;P

I swam 20 laps~ proud of my accomplishment k! even though it's not a lot, i was alr panting like mad... becoz i've been lazy~ these days, trips to the pool are for sunbathing, therefore i'm becoming more and more flabby. =P

i swam and swam today coz i have a lot of stuff clogging up my mind. Going to the pool makes me think of WT actually and i still miss him. it's been some time now, yet i still feel weird and there are still times where i feel like picking up the phone and msg-ing him. And then i'll juz feel so incredibly stupid and place my phone down. alright... i shall stop b4 i cry again...

my buddy, Anthony also turn up at the pool and he swam a little... and i really mean a little ONLY! then he SLACK~ LoL! EL left early and went back to work. Ant and I suntan till 3pm then went to have KFC. kaoz~ effort wasted for swimming.. shld have juz lie there and BBQ myself.

Anthony told me tat he wrote something for me on his blog and told me to go read it. it's titled, "The Angel, The Star and a Promise" i read it and i cried. sigh~ Ant always write stuff tat touched me deeply... :')

i'm kinda disappointed in myself coz i've been wasting $11 every time to feed my newfound habit. And there i was telling my frens in Melbourne, i will not get hooked.. But then again, i haven't find the determination yet, coz i'm still pretty tensed up. Maybe when i'm totally ok, and feel the tension in me no longer there. I will stop the $11 habit~ ;)

EL came over to my place, and my elder bro kinda taught him how to use his O2 mini.. tat was not the plan actually, he was juz here to visit and accompany ME. And also to use my handphone memory card reader to load songs into his O2 mini...

i've been thinking abt sch reopenin and the amount of sch work tat i need to complete but almost forgotten.. sigh~ hope everything will work out juz fine for me.. hope tat i'll find peace and do my work.. arrgghhh~~

我好烦！！！

Who reads?!

i went to have supper with Anthony.. Was complaining to him tat my gastric is working up again. Sigh~ in the end, i can't eat anything except drink Milo~ the feeling sucks big time.. how can i make myself feel better huh?

after the supper session with Anthony, i came home and went online.. looking at my own blog, i feel kinda weird. nowadays, i dun post my stuff up immediately. I still write, but i dun post it up until i feel tat it's way past time and it's already history.

tonite i know a fren reads my blog. And sometimes i write abt him. So it juz makes me wonder wat if his frens read abt him on my blog.. will it get him into trouble? afterall, i really dunno who reads my blog... sometimes, i seriously wonder who reads my blog. does my blog affect anyone out there? will wat i write get someone else into trouble? will my frens mind tat i write abt them?

But i know, since i wanna write abt my stuff, i gotta be prepared tat a lot of pple will be reading... so everyone keep on smiling, coz i will keep on smiling and keep on writing! *wiNkz*

Why do I feel like this?

it's times like this tat i feel lonely.. in my room, sitting in front of my computer, nothing much to do at home.. or rather, dun feel like doing anything at all. TV's on, programs are running on TV, but i'm not paying attention to it, coz i juz dun feel like doing anything. Not even chatting with frens. i tried reading my romance novel, but find it hard to concentrate.

my family's in the living room. i could join them. but i juz dun feel like it. maybe tat's why i go out with my frens everyday. from the time i wake up, till i come home exhausted and juz go to bed straight. Somehow I juz need the companionship of frens everyday. I need people ard me all the time. tat's why i go to school, hang out with frens, work and party till late. i juz cannot be left alone. loneliness always finds it way to crept on to me if i'm alone. And i can't stand loneliness....

i know my family and my frens care abt me, but sometimes, even though i know tat, i still feel alone. i dun understand why as well. i made the choice to stay home tonite coz i'm feeling physically tired and the last few days, i've been downing too much beer. it's not good for health, considering my state now. But i can't stop it. most times, i juz wanna be out there on the streets, and i dun really care with who and doing what. in SG, at nite, there's almost nothing to do except drinking. Since i want to be out, so i get my frens to go drinking with me.

tonite, i could be out. coz a fren did asked me out for dinner. But i din wanna go, coz i'm tired. Yet now, i feel so darn bored at home. sigh~

From HK

i had to get frens to wake me up today @ 845am for the Carlsberg interview coz of last nite.. luckily Don offered to send me to the interview, else i'll sure be late! coz i overslept as usual..

the interview with Carlsberg went on quite well i think.. it's like seeing old frens again, coz the moment i walked in, the sales team there recognised me and the usual greetings was quite happy~ been some time since i see them... But they did raise the concern tat they wanna have taller girls this time round, so if i dun get the job, it'll be becoz they can't get anyone suitable to pair with me~ ie, another short girl to pair with me~ hahaha~ =P

After the interview, Don and I went to Wheelock Place's Sakae Sushi for lunch~ and we saw something quite amusing~ the sushi plates on the belt actually had an "accident" and all jammed up, ending up in a "crash" and toppled all over the counter~ they had to stop the belt to fixed it... I find it amusing really~ so i helped to space out the plates when it passes me. I know it's a little redundant, but i think i'm being HELPFUL~ LoL!

After lunch, we went to Borders to buy my organizer. I've been using this organizer by paperchase brought from Borders from last July.. Their organizer is specially catered for tertiary students i think, coz it starts in July 2004 and ends June 2005... I went to buy the 2005/2006 one. The colours remaining sucks. my 2004/2005 one was baby blue, this time round i had to get a striped one. Not very happy abt it, but i like the way the pages and stuff are organised inside the book, so i still brought one.

After tat, I went to the Changi Airport to pick up Adrian. A fren from HK coming here to see me. He's living at The Gallery Hotel. After checking in, i brought him to town to walk ard, drink coffee, meet my buddy and had dinner~

After dinner, i brought him to Boat Quay - Starlight coz iaN will be there. So i thot, it's a good idea to intro them both.. One more fren to help me keep Adrian entertained~ *griNz* I went over to Rav coz Don was there with his frens. Went over to say hello, and realised his frens are all crazy drinkers. But luckily they're drinking whiskey with green tea, so it's easier. His frens are very good at five-ten - a finger-guessing game... And so, some new frens made - Desmond, Francis and Adeline.

Ended the nite quite early, coz my mum keeps calling me. And at 2am, she got my dad to call~ hahaha... think tat's the final warning, and so i came straight home! so much for tonite. supposed to wake up for sunbathing with Adrian tmr morning.. I seriously doubt i can wake up. But i'll try my best~ *poof

Zouk afterall...

and there it goes... i did turn up at Zouk afterall~ was feeling so damn lazy, coz i had to go down myself initially, BUT in the end, i managed to persuade my younger bro, Alan to send me there... Actually, i asked him in front of his gf, and my pretty, sweet "sis-in-law" will insist tat he send me down~ muahaha... i like her alot, coz of her personality really... she's someone who will be a fren worth keeping no matter wat happens...

i'm becoming pretty spoilt coz frens' been giving me rides all around and i became so lazy to take the public transport. And it actually affects my decision on whether to go out. it's like, if no one's fetching me, i juz wanna stay home.. It's a very very bad habit i know and it's WRONG~ so, i better do something abt it...

went to the winebar to have drinks. maybe becoz the mood is not there, and i'm feeling kinda tired so i din really enjoyed myself.. dunno why, but i was hoping to see someone there, but he's not there. not someone impt to me, but juz a link... mayb deep down inside, i juz wanna know how WT's doing now and tis person is a link.. the whole situation sounds wrong even to me... But heck la...

went into Phuture to look for Icedoom coz he's there... met Jeffy on the way in. somehow it feels weird to see him. maybe i'm not used to seeing him on TV and his face splashed over magazines and newspapers... hahaha~

Another fren, Don was sweet as well.. he offered to come send me home if my frens aren't gng to. i appreciate tat really.. thanks! *griNz*

Left Zouk ard 2.30am... so much for an early nite tat i planned for myself~ =X

i'm gng to wash up and SLEEP now... i got an interview with Carlsberg tmr at 11am. Hope i get the promo jobs~ dead broke now...

Final Checkup OVER

went swimming with EL @ Jurong East Swimming Complex this morning~ i'm feeling super tired actually, but i wanna catch the sun for some sunbathing, so i forced myself to wake up and go to the pool... EL obliged and accompanied me. haha~ poor him.. coz he's tired too. we stayed up chatting till almost dawn. we reached the pool @ 11am! tat's pretty early for me. swam like only 4 laps then i'm bored alr. Juz lie there and suntan for like 2 hrs.. saw my sec sch mate, Yiqiang there. wat a coincidence~

i'm pretty tan now! heez... went over to his place to fix his computer for him~ or rather juz install some anti-virus programs for him coz he's quite an IT idiot? LoL~ din managed to help him fixed much, but found out his comp is flooded with spywares and adwares... LIKE MINE NOW! sigh~!

then he sent me to Alexandra Hospital for my follow-up health checkup which is at 330pm. On the way there, i was feeling so so moody. Coz the place brings back BAD memories i guessed. And i'm worried tat they might prick me with needles again... =P

Luckily they didn't.. But i was informed tat i have this thing call "alpha thalassemia trait"

What is alpha thalassemia?
Thalassemia is an inherited disorder that affects the production of normal hemoglobin (a type of protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to the tissues of the body). Thalassemia includes a number of different forms of anemia. The severity and type of anemia depends upon the number of genes that are affected.

As if i really understand?!?!?! actually, it's juz a form of low blood count tat i inherited... LoL! but one interesting finding - if i married someone with this trait as well, our kids will have 25% of having a serious case of low blood count. So next time, have to ask the guy i'm dating whether he has this trait, if have, then NEXT! j/k...

And then i found out i have 57mg/ml of Paracetamol aka acetaminophen in my blood! it's supposed to be a lot... the doctor told me tat explains the gastric problems i'm having now. coz the body takes time to clear itself of this crap... basically, the gastric pain is killing me slowly everyday, making me lose my usual gigantic appetite, seeping away my energy! hmpfff! :/

So still, no extreme food for me... not too spicy, not too hot, not too cold, not too full, cannot dun eat, blah blah blah~ duhz! stupid "advice"... But i self-declare, no alcohol for me! muahahahaa~ like real eh? my buddy, Icedoom will say this - ya right! when pigs do synchronised swimming, Tricia will quit drinking...

I'm feelin much better now after the checkup and i'm officially discharged... might sound weird, but i guessed, after this final checkup, it's time to close tat chapter of my life and move on. tat's why i felt much better when i walked out of the building. Everyone goes thru bad phrases or have bad experiences at one point in their life. This is it for me... But I strongly believe life will get better for me. *smiLez*

after the checkup, we went for lunch @ Ngee Ann Poly. Down the memory lane for him. tat's where he's studying formerly. passed by my sch - SIM and get reminded tat i have journals due very soon, but yet to be finished and sch is reopening in a week's time... not exactly a nice thought. sigh~

Came home after the checkup and been trying to troubleshoot my computer since... it's infected (YET AGAIN! DAMN!!) with virus again. keeps sending URLs to my MSN contacts and i cannot stop it. my AVG din picked up any threats, but it's still not fixed, coz it still sending pple URLs so i think AVG is inadequate. iaN recommended Norton and send me the link to d/l the trialware. it picked up 34 infected files and 18 at risk files. NOW i know, Norton is still the best... luckily he's gonna pass me his Norton soon.

Icedoom is disappointed coz i promised to go Eski Bar tonite, but in the end, also tua him. Had plans to go to Zouk tonite as well, but till now, i still dun have the mood... so most prob i'll give it a miss ba~ my frens there are gonna be pissed... hahaha! But heck, i can't drink, go there for wat?!?! kill time? but i'm quite sick of Zouk eh... last week i'm also there... see how it goes later ba!