after putting our story into words, i realised tat falling is love is really something which a person has no control over. And you won't know when it's gonna end either.
I've been in a very bad mood and feeling lost since 12th Apr. I'm questioning myself constantly, why am i not letting go? i can't find any answer for myself. recently, i juz feel like drinking every nite, which i did... juz so tat i can sleep at nite. but even with drinking, sleep eludes me...
i know all his bad points and pattern from his gf. I can identify with everything tat she says. when she says she understand how i feel, i cried. coz i can feel that she really really understands, plus i feel the immersed sadness in her as well. but i'm too consumed with my own misery to really care, let go, get outta their lives and returning him to her... =' '(
But even though i'm so hurt and miserable, i'm still finding excuses for him. I still feel tat WT is not such a bad person,. i always think he's juz confused and indecisive. tat does not necessary make him really bad? call it watever... it's juz a character/personality of him...
his actions is hurting both of us. But he can't make a decision and tell one of us to go away. alright, maybe he did, but i cling on and he responsed and we carried on. But i think his motives ain't because he wants to hurt us. I sincerely feel tat it's because of the reverse, ie. he doesn't want either of us to be hurt by leaving us... which is not most pple would have done coz it's quite selfish~ but he juz can't deal with either of us giving up on ourselves and being sad?? plus he really dunno how he feel abt the both of us... i feel tat he do feel for both of us, in different ways, for different reasons... i just dun believe he's totally not affected by the whole situation. i still believe watever he says :(
i mean, maybe it's juz how i see it, not how he really is... coz afterall, i only know him for a rather short time... i can't tell exactly... it might be dumb of me to think this way~ maybe she understands better.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Hey… well.. cheer up.. one cant control itself when they are deeply in love with another..but then again there is a difference with infatuation and true love. i guess wat u need now is TIME.. time to understand him better, time to understand what you want and time to give urself a break from everything... As for wt..
well it isn’t his 1st time doing all these already.. Kinda disappointing but guess he might need some time to settle down with what the wants too .. he’s a nice guy that I do look upon to for his passion for his work. Someone that once made me realizes what life is all abt. well be glad for all tat everything.. it maybe sucky… but then again there’s always the sweet memories. Well.. theres no right or wrong in everything.. just be sure that u are really enjoying what u are doing now… all the best to ur studies.
1st time i dun agree with annoymous on him ba....
i m too judemental mayb..no need care much of my view but still like 2 point out comments...
luv may make u do un-explainable things..etc..she 4give all his wrong-doings, finding all sort of possible "excuses" for him for his action...
Personal experience....confirm that that luv is indeed blind..there will b devoted and native ger who do anytin for the 1 that they luv,,,believing anytin he would say...
as story goes, i m surprise she orginally being a "rational" person actually let her emotion rule over her head and chose 2 do so much so him..
take note: ger always tok they can change the man they like, feel the r/s deserve 2nd chance...
but they dun realize that when man get away once, he will try again ..
and i very sure of that will happen..juz a matter of time....
coz u aready give u signal that it is ok for betrayal/or excuse of "i m unsure of my feeling, dun wanna hurt any party etc....
wonder y /how come u chose 2 get back with him ...mayb there is no reason as u go by "feeling" nw..
will b checking on how yr story with him goes.."will it b fairytale ending with princess living happily with prince or will it b wat i had anticipated.......
anyway, all the best 2 u and wish u many many many gd luck that u will get wat u want (though i dun reali feel so from rational point of view).
the story haven't ended, we're still tangled in a web of deception. me and the other gal also know abt each other. but now, all i want is concentrate on my exams... after my exams, then i'll make a decision for myself and claim back my life... i'm juz stuck in a moment.
personal experience with him. love is indeed blind. then again it woke me up. all the best to you.
Oh well, so many readers n comments ...perhaps this story is really interesting n maybe u can sell this as a script to the movie maker. I got no comment about this life of yours, you may be just looking for some thrills in life. I'm seeing more and more of wt's fan getting into your blog. They claim to be one of the people who experienced this kind of r/s with him. Don't u believe them? U are still trying?
What I can tell from you8r stories is that he's the sort who can fall for many people, who has lots of human feelings, but unable to handle situations so he has no choice but to just solve whatever problems coming along...tough though fun may just be how he feels. He just cannot resist beautiful things, I think i understand what he has been doing.
Anyway U just got to accept or reject it since u have gotten into this n I can just say that this is life...n treat himas a passerby if u fail but congratulations if u got what u want.
Study Hard!!!!
yupz... tat's exactly wat i'm doing~ if i can accept it, then so be it, when i can't, i will move on right?
But now i can't move on, i'm stuck in a moment, and i dun wanna think abt this alr, until after my exams.
i'm not tryin to make things work now ya know. not tryin to make him choose, neither trying to make him stay... i'm juz not thinking much... juz wish me courage and good luck ba~ :)
cannot resist beautiful things eh? so at least tat's a consolation tat i'm still beautiful in his eyes...
from yr descrpition, guess u haf aready sub-consciously make a decision to be with him liao....
dun feel that you could be that "xiao sha" to take it easy lor....
u dun look strong at all to me..in fact , u sound so vulnerable these days...hence i believe u need lots of time to think over wat u want in yr life...
somehow i dun feel he is the 1 that can guve u support or shoulder when u need lor...
no1 can realli predict is the best decision but I juz hope u will make 1 and look 4ward and dun ever look back ba..and of coz hope all things turn out fine for u.
hope that is the best decision you would make after yr exam. :)
Post a Comment